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Friday, April 29, 2011

funny people quotes

funny people quotes





funny people quotes funny people quotes funny people quotes



funny people quotes funny people quotes funny people quotes







The cat is the only animal which accepts the comforts but rejects the bondage of domesticity. ~Georges Louis Leclerc de Buffon



Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. ~Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, July 1735



Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. ~Ambrose Bierce



Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? ~Author Unknown



We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe



Any man can hold a girl's hand, but only the elite can hold her feet. ~Author Unknown



A child's world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us that clear-eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe-inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood. ~Rachel Carson



I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. ~Fred Allen



Hearing protection is a sound investment. ~Author Unknown



The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful. ~e.e. cummings



The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way. ~Mark Twain



Why torture yourself when life'll do it for you? ~Author Unknown



Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty. ~Author Unknown



I am whatever you make me, nothing more. I am your belief in yourself, your dream of what a people may become.... I am the clutch of an idea, and the reasoned purpose of resolution. I am no more than you believe me to be and I am all that you believe I can be. I am whatever you make me, nothing more. ~Franklin Knight Lane



A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours. ~Author Unknown



Methinks it is a token of healthy and gentle characteristics, when women of high thoughts and accomplishments love to sew; especially as they are never more at home with their own hearts than while so occupied. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Marble Faun, 1859



Internet: absolute communication, absolute isolation. ~Paul Carvel



Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. ~Jim Bishop



When I think about all the patients and their loved ones that I have worked with over the years, I know most of them don't remember me nor I them. But I do know that I gave a little piece of myself to each of them and they to me and those threads make up the beautiful tapestry in my mind that is my career in nursing. ~Donna Wilk Cardillo, A Daybook for Beginning Nurses



We exaggerate misfortune and happiness alike. We are never as bad off or as happy as we say we are. ~Honore de Balzac