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If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough. ~VP Pappy



What's the point of being a lesbian if a woman is going to look and act like an imitation man? ~Rita Mae Brown



Poker exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great. ~Walter Matthau



Most men, after a little freedom, have preferred authority with the consoling assurances and the economy of effort which it brings. ~Walter Lippmann, A Preface to Morals, 1929



Most people know more about their congressmen via smear campaigns than they know about their own neighbor via conversations, and a lot of people know more about Britney Spears via tabloids than they know about their own congressmen via voting booklets. Does anyone else see the problem here? ~Brock Fiant



When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. ~Norm Crosby



If America's soul becomes totally poisoned, part of the autopsy must read Vietnam. It can never be saved so long as it destroys the hopes of men the world over. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Beyond Vietnam lecture, 4 April 1968



How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes! ~Maya Angelou How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes! ~Maya Angelou



Very little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost it. ~Eric Nicol



I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. ~Bob Hope



My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel. ~Gene Perret



We are more disturbed by a calamity which threatens us than by one which has befallen us. ~John Lancaster Spalding



I am not tragically colored. There is no great sorrow dammed up in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes.... Even in the helter-skelter skirmish that is my life, I have seen that the world is to the strong regardless of a little pigmentation more or less. No, I do not weep at the world - I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife. ~Zora Neale Hurston, How It Feels to Be Colored Me, 1928



Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. ~Lao Tzu



It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required. ~Stephen Leacock



To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet. ~Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, 1825



But in science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to the man to whom the idea first occurs. ~Francis Darwin



He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. ~Benjamin Franklin



When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~Ogden Nash



Exercise is the yuppie version of bulimia. ~Barbara Ehrenreich