super funny quotes

The desolation and terror of, for the first time, realizing that the mother can lose you, or you her, and your own abysmal loneliness and helplessness without her. ~Francis Thompson



Seize every opportunity along the way, for how sad it would be if the road you chose became the road not taken. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



President Lyndon Johnson's high spirits were marked as he circulated among the many guests whom he had invited to witness an event he confidently felt to be historic, the signing of the 1965 Voting Rights Act.... The bill that lay on the polished mahogany desk was born in violence in Selma, Alabama, where a stubborn sheriff... had stumbled against the future. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?, 1967



Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots. ~Frank A. Clark



It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you. ~Author unknown, sometimes attributed to M. Grundler



When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty



So there he is at last. Man on the moon. The poor magnificent bungler! He can't even get to the office without undergoing the agonies of the damned, but give him a little metal, a few chemicals, some wire and twenty or thirty billion dollars and vroom! there he is, up on a rock a quarter of a million miles up in the sky. ~Russell Baker, New York Times, 21 July 1969



A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy. ~George Jean Nathan



There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997



Don't despise empiric truth. Lots of things work in practice for which the laboratory has never found proof. ~Martin H. Fischer



Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts. ~Edward R. Murrow



Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. ~Thor Heyerdahl, Fatu-Hiva



There is an eternal landscape, a geography of the soul; we search for its outlines all our lives. ~Josephine Hart



I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. ~Abraham Lincoln



Lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life, especially for their owners. ~George du Maurier



Love is the poetry of the senses. ~Honore de Balzac



Flowers that are so pathetic in their beauty, frail as the clouds, and in their coloring as gorgeous as the heavens, had through thousands of years been the heritage of children - honored as the jewelry of God.... ~Thomas De Quincey



When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. ~Edward Abbey



I love fishing. You put that line in the water and you don't know what's on the other end. Your imagination is under there. ~Robert Altman



The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk. ~Mark Twain