funny good morning quotes

Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description. ~Anna Quindlen



And Christ is risen today! ~George Newell Lovejoy



There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush." It is enough to make one ashamed of the species. ~Mark Twain



Stored away in some brain cell is the image of a long-departed aunt you haven't thought of in 30 years. Stored away in another cell is the image of a pink pony stitched on your first set of baby pajamas. All it takes to get that aunt mounted on the back of that pony is to eat a hunk of meatloaf immediately before going to bed. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Bless you, my darling, and remember you are always in the heart - oh tucked so close there is no chance of escape - of your sister. ~Katherine Mansfield



I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. ~William Penn



Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. ~Ambrose Bierce



God gave the angels wings, and he gave humans chocolate. ~Author Unknown



What makes us discontented with our condition is the absurdly exaggerated idea we have of the happiness of others. ~French Proverb



The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them. ~Bernard M. Baruch



Turn your wounds into wisdom. ~Oprah Winfrey



Dare to be true: nothing can need a lie: A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby. ~George Herbert



The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. ~Helen Rowland



I was right not to be afraid of any thief but myself, who will end by leaving me nothing. ~Katherine Anne Porter



To live is in itself a value judgment. To breathe is to judge. ~Albert Camus, The Rebel, 1951



Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead. ~Aldous Huxley



While I recognize the necessity for a basis of observed reality... true art lies in a reality that is felt. ~Odilon Redon



Antisthenes says that in a certain faraway land the cold is so intense that words freeze as soon as they are uttered, and after some time then thaw and become audible, so that words spoken in winter go unheard until the next summer. ~Plutarch, Moralia



Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. ~Truman Capote



A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure. ~Lee Segall