Everything one invents is true, you may be perfectly sure of that. Poetry is as precise as geometry. ~Gustave Flaubert
Investors have very short memories. ~Roman Abramovich
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. ~Mark Twain
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ~Joyce Maynard
There are three religious truths: 1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. ~Author Unknown
All morons hate it when you call them a moron. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 6
I can no longer think of anything but you. In spite of myself, my imagination carries me to you. I grasp you, I kiss you, I caress you, a thousand of the most amorous caresses take possession of me. ~Honore de Balzac, letter to Evelina Hanska, June 1836
Crocus. ~Lilja Rogers
Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser - in fees, expenses, and waste of time. As a peacemaker the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough. ~Abraham Lincoln
Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for that rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge. ~Erwin Knoll
I am having an out of money experience. ~Author Unknown
Here's to alcohol, the cause of - and solution to - all life's problems. ~The Simpsons by Matt Groening, spoken by the character Homer Simpson
There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature. ~Stephen Stills
On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. ~George Orwell
The conquest of the earth, which mostly means the taking it away from those who have a different complexion or slightly flatter noses than ourselves, is not a pretty thing when you look into it. ~Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~Dennis Miller
Feeling down? Saddle up. ~Author Unknown
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ~Fran Lebowitz
The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it. ~H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
There must be reasons why we men are so hipped on breasts as if we'd all been weaned too soon. ~Gunter Grass
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ~Kin Hubbard
The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. ~Victor Hugo
Poetry is frosted fire. ~J. Patrick Lewis, www.jpatricklewis.com
A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores. ~Klinger, "Bug-Out," original airdate 21 September 1976, written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum, directed by Gene Reynolds