Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. ~The Simpsons by Matt Groening, spoken by television announcer Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. ~Matt Groening, The Simpsons
Our concern must be to live while we're alive... to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are. ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Of all the supervised conditions for life offered man, those under USA's constitution have proved the best. Wherefore, be sure when you start modifying, corrupting or abrogating it. ~Martin H. Fischer
The trouble with the laws these days is that criminals know their rights better than their wrongs. ~Author Unknown
The greatest obstacle to discovering the shape of the earth, the continents and the ocean was not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge. ~Daniel J. Boorstin, The Discoverers
Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does. ~Ambrose Bierce
I do not really like vacations. I much prefer an occasional day off when I do not feel like working. When I am confronted with a whole week in which I have nothing to do but enjoy myself I do not know where to begin. To me, enjoyment comes fleetingly and unheralded; I cannot determinedly enjoy myself for a whole week at a time. ~Robertson Davies
It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. ~Helen Rowland
A relentless barrage of "why�s" is the best way to prepare your mind to pierce the clouded veil of thinking caused by the status quo. Use it often. ~Shigeo Shingo
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. ~Author Unknown
You can tear a poem apart to see what makes it tick.... You're back with the mystery of having been moved by words. The best craftsmanship always leaves holes and gaps... so that something that is not in the poem can creep, crawl, flash or thunder in. ~Dylan Thomas, Poetic Manifesto, 1961
A man�s heart changes as often as does the autumn sky. ~Japanese Proverb
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. ~James Allen
When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep. ~Author Unknown
Come now, don't make such a funeral face. It isn't dying that's sad; it's living when you're not happy. ~"The Garden," Chapter 6
If we had no faults of our own, we would not take so much pleasure in noticing those of others. ~Francois duc de la Rochefoucauld
I am the all-singing, all-dancing crap of this world.... I am the toxic waste by-product of God's creation. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 23
I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. ~Thomas Jackson
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. ~Albert Einstein
Your life may be the only Bible some people read. ~Author Unknown
His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays. ~Ian Baker-Finch, on John Daly
The sun won't shine until you put the umbrella away. Be free. ~Author Unknown
Some people take more care to hide their wisdom than their folly. ~Jonathan Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1711
Horses are uncomfortable in the middle and dangerous at both ends. ~Attributed to both Christopher Stone and Ian Fleming