funny quotes from hangover

He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put into vials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw, inclement summers. ~Jonathan Swift



History - that little sewer where man loves to wallow. ~Francis Ponge



Poverty is the mother of crime. ~Marcus Aurelius



Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. ~Jonathan Clements Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. ~Jonathan Clements



God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine. ~David Nicholas



Our only security is our ability to change. ~John Lilly



Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours. ~Doug Larson Eternity alone can reveal to the human race its debt of gratitude to the peerless and immortal name of Washington. ~James A. Garfield



You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what's burning inside you. And we edit to let the fire show through the smoke. ~Arthur Polotnik



There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter. ~Bat Masterson



No God, no peace. Know God, know peace. ~Author Unknown



If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. ~Will Rogers



Don't argue with people who write with digital ink and pay by the kilowatt-hour. ~Don Rittner



If only Hitler and Mussolini could have a good game of bowls once a week at Geneva, I feel that Europe would not be as troubled as it is. ~R.G. Briscow



The church is the great lost and found department. ~Robert Short



Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacopoeia. ~Napoleon



By a divine paradox, wherever there is one slave there are two. So in the wonderful reciprocities of being, we can never reach the higher levels until all our fellows ascend with us. ~Edwin Markham



Most people do not pray; they only beg. ~George Bernard Shaw



An athlete cannot run with money in his pockets. He must run with hope in his heart and dreams in his head. ~Emil Zatopek



If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody. ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye



It is not how big you are, it's how big you play. ~Author Unknown